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Allison Lyle

What's the first thing your mind thinks when you are afraid or fearful of something?

Updated: Oct 3, 2023

Do you think? I can't do it.

Do you think? Others can do it, but I can't.

What does fear cripple or hold you back from?

What does fear stop you from doing?

What does fear thrust you towards?

What does fear catapult you towards?

Are you held back from your fears?

Do you have self defeating thoughts when you are afraid?

What does your mind go to in these moments of fear?


If I'm honest, my mind in its first vulnerable thoughts when I'm afraid or fearful says:

  • I can't do it.

  • Other people can, but I cant.

  • How will I get through this?

  • I'll never be able to do it.

  • I get frustrated.

  • I wrestle with myself on trying to figure out the best thing that I can do in the situation

  • I think very negative at first

  • I hold myself back from the possibilities of what could happen if I wasn't afraid

  • I remain stagnant for a period not moving forward or backward


Wow, when I look at this list it is mind boggling. I cannot believe I go through all of these thoughts in a matter of seconds, but I have at some point. For some reason, growing up I always thought that if I had those butterflies in my stomach or if I felt that super afraid feeling that I must run from the situation or get out of "it" as fast as I can. Now I realize that fear can come at any moment in situations that you have never experienced, situations that are new, exciting moments, or even traumatic situations.


But, all of these moments can be catalysts to help move our life forward depending on how fear is dealt with. These are habits that I have had to be honest about in order to move past them and claim the life that I want to lead.


Fear can be crippling and has kept me for periods of time from the life personally or professionally that I wanted to lead due to my own fear based decisions. It's amazing how fear can lead so many thoughts and decisions that we make daily.


It can be from the smallest fear to the greatest fear that can enter our minds and take over for the day. It is so true that what we tell ourselves manifests itself in all that we do. The messages we tell ourselves that no one knows about can change the trajectory of our day, our months and even years of our life.


When I look at this picture (see below) of the ball and chain, I think of myself. Fear has been a ball and chain in my life. I never want fear to lead my life negatively because it has had devastating effects at certain points. I say devastating because if I didn't make a decision I needed to make or if I held my own self back because I was afraid fear played a factor. When I have shrank back in myself instead of standing tall due to fear, this has caused significant consequences. When I have run backwards, when I should have moved forward it made for hard times in my life. But, I don't regret any of those moments, because I have learned a valuable lesson in that fear can help. Fear has walked me through traumatic, wonderful and exciting times. Fear can do that if we let it.


Even in the most traumatic and terrible situations where fear is a factor, it can absolutely be some of the best moments depending on your first thoughts even in those times. I say that because I have had so many traumatic and crazy situations happen where I was deathly afraid and crippled at the moment. But, walking head on through those fearful moments have helped me move forward and upward in my life. Interestingly, fear has become a light in my most challenging times.


I think fear was put in our life to see what we are made of, to see what we will do with it, and a way to challenge our most inner thoughts. It was only at the times that I have been most afraid that my life has moved forward and that I have made the most progress in all areas of my life.


What messages are you sending yourself when you are afraid? Are you being held back from what you really want when fear shows up in your life?


Do you want more, but you are holding your own self back because of your fears? Why? How long will you circle in fear and be prevented from living the life you want or getting your desires?


You desire more. Will fear hold you back from what you truly desire? What are you gonna do when fear is coming for you? Retract, Retreat, Recap your old fears, Recover your old wounds or Rebound and go after what you truly desire deep down inside.


Let's rebound together, let's push forward through all of our fear trapped thoughts, let's release the chain of fear and elevate our lives.


Let's move our lives forward one day at a time where fear no longer leads negatively, but instead it catapults us towards our goals and dreams. If I can do it, then I know you can.



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