Updated: Oct 3
You’ve heard that saying, “Its not what people say, it's what you say about yourself.”
It's kind of interesting when I think about what some people have said to me and what my after thoughts happened to be. I have had people say positive things about me at certain points and I'm sure you have too at different times, right?
But have you ever walked away wondering, if what they said was true about you? After they made the positive comments, you might have said to the person, “oh thank you so much, I really appreciate it.” or you might have just simply said, "thank you" or you might have even said, “that’s so kind of you to say.” But, then afterwards you might have thought to yourself Hmmm….Is that true about me? In moments such as these, I have left pondering my thoughts.
I am bringing this up because once I had a friend who said the most kindest words to me one day. I was surprised that they thought this way. I was taken aback because my friend had said such kind words to me, why? Why was I taken aback? Honestly, I actually was so touched by what they said that I was almost in tears and I held my tears back during this moment when they said the positive comments. Why was I almost in tears? Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever been in tears from something that someone said to you that was positive?
Sometimes we may go through life and think we only see ourselves and that no one else can see what we know of ourselves. Sometimes I have felt like I have fought so much in just trying to get to a certain place in life that the positive comments have caught me off guard. It's because in those moments, I felt like I was being seen on the inside for the first time in a way that was so private without feeling misunderstood. And maybe we have just had so many things happen in our lives that we almost forget certain positive things about ourselves in the hustle and bustle. Sometimes we may not slow down enough to appreciate ourselves enough. I know this has been true about me. Have you ever felt like this?
But, I think more people see “you” than you think. I've come to realize this for myself. There are many people that admire your kindness, your strength, your grit, your drive, your strong character, your internal beauty, your warmth, your understanding, your cheerful nature, your wonderful spirit, and many, many more things. The intangible things that you think only you know about, others see it too.
On the other hand, sometimes I think we don’t believe the positive things people say or we question them for an entirely different reason. I think we may question the positive comments at times because I don't think we say enough positive things about ourselves on a regular basis. Because of this, it’s may be almost foreign to hear someone else say positive things about us when they do.
I think this is another reason why I may have reacted this way when my friend opened up to me in a positive way. Possibly, If I had been telling myself more positive and kind messages a little more often this probably would not have stunned me. It probably would have been a cherry on top instead to remind me of how much my friend cared.
What am I really saying here? I'm saying that there are many positive words that people can say that we may question and it may or may not be true. Regardless of what someone else says, what do you say is true about yourself? What positive messages are you saying to yourself on a regular basis?
The positive messages we say to ourselves can be the real heart beat of what we need daily and can help to push us further along our path towards our vision, dreams, and life goals. This positive path that we forge can be a light to others on their life journey. I have learned that it is so important that we see ourselves consistently in a positive manner for these reasons.
At the end of the day, it’s not the positive comments that others say that truly determine your life course, but it’s the positive words we believe and say about ourselves daily. If you never get another kind word from anyone, what positive messages would you send your way on a daily basis?
It’s important that you know what you would say about yourself and that you are thoughtful about what you say to yourself regularly. I say this because there were years where I had no idea what those positive qualities were about myself and I relied on others to tell me. I did have low self esteem during this time, so this was rough because I just didn’t know it for myself. I never want to be in that place again where I am dependent on others for positive comments without me knowing deep on the inside what they are for myself. This reminds me of a quote by Lao Tzu that says “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment”.
Even with the positive words we say to ourselves, we can always improve. Everyday I work to be even better than the day before in all my ways. I will always do this because it makes me strive to do and be the best I can in all areas every single day.
Honestly though when we get right down to it, you may be wondering since I brought this up, Do I say kind messages to myself on a regular basis? Good question...I am glad you asked, lol. I will say this, I do think I have a very positive self-image of my inside person now and I am proud of the person I have become from the positive messages I do say to myself. Although, I do think I can do even better than I'm doing right now on pouring into myself even more. Personal challenge, thank you for holding me accountable to enhance myself in this area.
What about you? What positive messages are you saying to yourself? Do you say anything positive about yourself on a daily basis? How about it? Can you do even better with pouring kindness into yourself each day?
Why is this so important? Because we must be kind to ourselves and love on ourselves, so that we have more to give to the world with the gifts that each one of us have been divinely given.
You are a gift. Your light can help give someone else hope and speak vision into their life when they might need it the most. We all need extra light at different points and you never know when your gifting may help someone else find their path.
No one will love on you as well as you do for yourself. We must send a little love to ourselves each and everyday. Let's do this together. Can you do it? I can. If I can do it, then so can you!