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Should you expect more?

Updated: Oct 3, 2023

Hmmmm...what do I mean by this? Because there is so much coming at us in life it seems that we sometimes look at life as half empty versus half full, why? And sometimes, I don't think if we are honest with ourselves that we really think overflow is truly possible given our circumstances whatever they may be at the moment.

The struggle is real in life for all people at some point whether death, a failed relationship, divorce, loss of a job, loss of a pet, extreme health issues, family concerns, or a bad car accident, etc. The list could go on and on. You get my point though, right?

Life brings its own set of challenges. But, how do we think differently or expect more with all that life brings? This has been a question for me as this new year has opened up. And what's wrong with expecting more out of life in the midst of it all? Why should I expect less? Should we settle in thinking more is not possible?

This might sound strange, but since I have picked up tennis a bit more again a few revelations have occurred to me. And before you ask, No I am not that good at tennis yet shall I say lol, but I do have certain things flash through my mind while I am playing that may help you see what I'm pondering this morning.

Ok so currently, I am trying to get to the point where I can hit the ball back and forth with my daughter and she is way more skilled than me. Hitting balls with her is sort of challenging to say the least mainly because she hits pretty fast balls and so most of the time they just fly by me versus me actually hitting them. Sometimes I am in the right position to truly hit the ball even at the speed that she hits it, but I don't even attempt to hit it. Why?

Well, in my mind at that moment, I'm thinking there is no way I can hit that's just too fast. So, each time the ball comes right next to me and it is achievable to hit because I am positioned for it, unfortunately, each time it flies right by me. Why is that?

Are you asking, why don't you just hit it? Yeah I have asking myself the same thing and my daughter has asked me several times too. I repeat, why don't I just hit it? Lol.

It's not that easy though. Because mentally I don't think with my limited experience in tennis and the speed with which the ball is coming, it just does not seem like I can hit it. If I'm honest, I guess I'm a bit afraid that I will miss it if I try because it's just coming too fast. My mind has already made a judgement that it is not possible and it goes back to the negative messaging unconsciously that I am sending myself. Why am I sending myself this type of message? I don't know other than just pure negative habit.

There's a piece to this that I know that some things obviously you have to practice or you have to learn to get better at, but ultimately what we tell ourselves does truly matter. What if instead I expected more versus expecting less in that moment? What if I expected more from the situation even though the speed scares me a bit? What if I just hit the ball versus shrinking back? What if I just hit the ball even at that speed?

Interestingly, I actually tried this with a little encouragement from my daughter, and I actually hit some of her really fast balls to my surprise just by taking aim at the ball with my racket in that moment when I could have expected less. Instead, I expected more for the moment, and YES, I hit it finally!

Although, I am talking about my game of tennis, which is definitely in the beginning stages, expecting more is a foreign concept in some ways to me. It should not be though, but it has been my habit of thinking. How does this same concept apply to life though?

What if we just hit the ball in our lives regardless of the circumstances, or the speed with which it drops in our life, our limited experience, or regardless of what it seems like in the moment? What if we just expected more from a situation, how would we look at it differently? How much further would we be if we actually expected more out of life? How would we approach life if we actually expected more?

That's my question. How many times in life do we settle for less or not expect more? I know for me way too many times. What if in this new year we began to look at life through a new lens, not from a lens of less, but one of expecting more.

Expecting more in all situations. Even in the not so good times, actually expecting more out of those too. It's kind of a strange concept at least for me because in life "reality is reality", right? "It is what it is." Yes, all of that may be true, but what if we changed the trajectory and made lemonade from lemons instead. What if we actually expected lemonade instead of thinking that lemons were the only thing possible in those situations?

In all situations, the good and the bad, I have realized that not only do they happen for a reason, but they are all things that I have so needed to learn. In these moments, I have had to up my game even through the most trying and tough times. I have had to indeed look out and expect more even while crying tears.

How can you expect more in tough times though? I think you have to trust yourself in those moments and have confidence in yourself even in the rock hard experiences. I think you have to put on your game face and be ready to fight hard through all of those circumstances to get to the more.

Out of all of the many trials that I have been through and continue to go through, it never ceases to amaze me how I come out of a trial having even more than before I went into the trial. I come out having learned more, having become internally stronger, having experienced more, having wrestled with my own demons, having grown deeper roots into myself, having learned to trust myself more, and ultimately moved to an enhanced way of thinking. I will never regret the things that I have been through because they have truly made me a better person, a more thoughtful person, and a person that has grown and continues to grow more and more each day.

Are there situations in your life right now that you can begin to expect more? Is it possible to expect more from your current situation? Do you believe you can have more? Why settle for less?

I want more for myself, for my life, for my circumstances and for my thinking. What about you? What do you want more of for yourself?

Let's go after what you want and expect more of. I plan to do just that. If I can do it with my game of tennis, then I can translate that outside of tennis.

Will you join me in expecting more? Let's do it together. If I can do it, then so can you!

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Jan 31, 2023

Expecting more of ourselves is challenging and it’s a lot easier to keep things the same. Having a routine has helped me get through some tough times but it also caused me to fall into a slump where my life expectations were lowered to just ’survive and get by’. I really appreciate you sharing and hope that it helps the ones who need to hear it. I know there was a time in my life where I was so comfortable in my pain that I forgot that happiness was an option. So yes, hit harder, dream bigger, expect more.

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Love this Carol! Thanks for sharing. I love what you said. Love your last sentence, So good!!

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