Updated: Oct 4
I think this is a tough question and one that I have grappled with at times because it can come in various forms. Whether its going after a job that you want that doesn't materialize, relationships that don't work out or fail, family situations that somehow go negative, dreams unrealized due to some unforeseen circumstances, rejection can just be plain 'ol disappointing at times.
How do you deal with this? How do I deal with this? I guess it depends on the situation, but ultimately I think for me I have tried to break the situation down to figure out what role I have played in it and is there anything that I could have done better. Typically there is always something that I could have done better. But, ultimately though I guess what I do with what I have learned from the situation and how I can use the situation to guide me into my future success is what I think is most important.
Recently, I went on an acting/modeling gig that was very interesting in that rejection was at the forefront of this situation. I prepared myself, got dressed, looked presentable, tried to follow all the directions given for the casting and at the end of it, in literally 5 seconds I was told. "Sorry, next time". I'm like really. Boy, rejection in something so small can be disappointing initially.
My first thought was I did all the preparation, took my time to drive over to the location, and at the end of it I got nothing out of it. Really?!! Lol. I laugh only because I had to realize yeah it happened and now what? I had to figure out in that moment as I was processing it all what I had learned from it. And no that is not something I wanted to think about, but truly to move forward I had to dissect my actions and thoughts.
At the end of it I realized, I did make a few mistakes in my actions and that probably was the reason for the rejection. But, at the end of it I learned a whole lot about myself and even more about the industry. And on the other end, I realized that if the opportunity was meant for me to have, I would not have been rejected even in my mistakes.
But, since the rejection did happen, I had to accept the disappointing and negative outcome. But, was it really a negative outcome though just because I didn't get what I wanted?
That's the thing, sometimes we think that our rejections are a negative outcome because we don't get what we want, but truly it can be positive even in a rejection. Why do I say that? Because we can learn more about ourselves and why we have the feelings we have, why we respond the way we do, and we can even use the circumstance to be better the next time. That's what I did.
I realized it was a learning experience for sure about myself more than anything. Wow! It also was a good opportunity to try something new and experience something new. It was a cool experience because I stepped outside of the box to do something I might not have ever tried years ago. That in itself was a victory for me.
I am proud of myself for trying something new. I am proud of myself for going after something that I wanted. I am proud of myself for accepting the rejection and moving through the initial disappointment.
Rejection is truly a common place for so many situations as I described earlier. It is common to have disappointment and to have real feelings behind the rejection. As humans, I do believe having your moment to feel the disappointment and to process your feelings is very important however long that takes.
But, at the end of the day, how you use the rejection is even more critical. How you move forward is even more telling of yourself. But, can you use your rejections to learn more about yourself?
Can you use rejection to sing praises to yourself for your small successes? Can you use your rejection to catapult you towards your dreams, vision, and/or life mission?
That's what I did. I am writing you today because of the rejection and disappointment that I had recently. It was indeed disappointing because it could have been a huge opportunity. But, it didn't happen. And now I am writing this blog today that will hopefully encourage even just one person not to give up and to keep going.
I am turning what should have been a negative into a positive for me and for someone else. Can you do that? Can you use your rejections for something positive to help someone else?
What tips can you share with someone else that might help them? We all have it inside of us. We can ALL be each others cheerleaders. Will you do that today?
Your life is worth it. Your dreams are worth it. You are worth it!
Don't stop, keep going even in the rejections of life no matter where it comes from. You can do it. If I can do it, so can you!